


Can't Say

by cinnabrown



Category: VERIVERY (Band)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Best Friends, M/M, Pining, Secret Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-18
Updated: 2019-12-18
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:01:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21842623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cinnabrown/pseuds/cinnabrown
Summary: Dongheon has had a crush on his next door neighbor, Hoyoung, for years, which would be much less of a problem if he wasn't already dating his best friend.
Relationships: Bae Hoyoung/Lee Dongheon
Comments: 13
Kudos: 83





	Can't Say

On the last night of summer, Dongheon found himself sitting on his balcony, drumsticks gripped loosely in his hands. Tongue poking out between his lips, he beat various rhythms into the concrete ground.  
  


The band was working on some new songs and he was mentally blocked. Everything he came up with sounded completely unoriginal. He'd tap out a rhythm and think it sounded amazing and wonder why no one had thought of it, before realizing they had because he was just drumming along to the rock music that was blasting from inside his bedroom.  
  


Still, he couldn't help but feel completely at home.  
  


Music had always been his forte. Even when he was young, his mother used to say that he would drum his hands on every surface available and he hadn't been able to keep many part time jobs because his employers would get easily annoyed at his inability to keep from tapping on everything he passed. He got his first drum kit when he was four and fell in love instantly.  
  


So, when his friend Gyehyeon had suggested they start a band, he had been more than willing to agree. It started off with them just messing around in Gyehyeon's garage, but over the course of the next few years, they'd built something amazing and Dongheon had found not only his place in the world, but three new brothers.  
  


And then somewhere in there, Minchan started dating Hoyoung.  
  


Dongheon had always thought it was strange that it took Minchan so long to notice him. Hoyoung had always been there. He had been living next door to Dongheon since he moved into his class in year five. Surely, Minchan must have seen him when he came over to Dongheon's house.  
  


Maybe it wasn't so much that he didn't notice, but that he was too shy to do anything about it. Minchan had absolutely no idea what he was doing when it came to boys or girls and it wasn't until he'd ended up in Hoyoung’s math class in high school that he finally had an excuse to talk to him. The two of them had been assigned seats next to each other in geometry and it was only a matter of time before Minchan developed a crush on Hoyoung.  
  


The pep talk Dongheon had given Minchan before he had asked Hoyoung to the spring formal in year nine had lasted an almost ridiculous amount of time. Even after Hoyoung said yes, he'd nearly gotten sick before the dance due to his nerves. Once the two of them were officially dating, it all became easier and they settled into a rhythm with each other.   
  
Dongheon supposed it was a good thing Hoyoung was equally as oblivious, as he didn't noticed Minchan's nerves either.   
  


Hoyoung was quite cool from what Dongheon could tell. Considering how long the two of them had lived next door to each other and the fact that he was dating one of his best friends, it was actually pretty surprising that what he knew about him, he mostly learned through observation because their bedroom windows faced each other.  
  


Not in a creepy way, of course. It was hard not to notice when Hoyoung danced around his room and sang Celine Dion power ballads into his hair brush. A performance complete with dramatic gestures and facial expressions.  
  


And he got a front row view.  
  


It was highly entertaining.  
  


All joking aside, Hoyoung made Minchan happy. And that was really all Dongheon could ask for.  
  


Dropping his drumsticks to the ground, he flexed out his sore fingers, realizing he must have been sitting out on the balcony for a while. He wasn't sure how long ago, but from his perch that looked out onto the street, he'd seen Hoyoung come back from his job at the movie theater, sighing as he slammed the door on the beat up red Jeep his parents had bought him for his last birthday and headed inside.  
  


The feeling in his fingers had almost returned to normal when Dongheon heard a voice coming from his left.  
  


"Hey."  
  


Lifting his eyebrows in surprise, he looked up to see that Hoyoung had pushed up his window and climbed out onto his own balcony and was currently leaning over the edge. His hair was wet from the shower, and he was dressed in gray workout shorts and the white t-shirt he'd received from a school function the year before.  
  


"Hey," Dongheon lifted his chin in a nod, pressing his palms into the concrete and pushing himself to his feet. "What's up?"  
  


It seemed like an extremely cliché question, but Dongheon wasn't really sure how else to act in the current situation. This was probably the first time he'd ever really been alone with Hoyoung, a rather strange realization, seeing as they'd been neighbors for so long.  
  


Hoyoung shrugged, silently answering the question before nodding to his drumsticks, which were still lying on the ground. "Are you working on new stuff?"  
  


"Trying," Dongheon replied, following his gaze momentarily. "It's not going so well."  
  


"Uninspired?" Hoyoung said, shooting him a wry smile. He recognized the look of frustration on Dongheon’s face because he'd seen it on Minchan many times before.  
  


"Something like that," Dongheon nodded, crossing his arms and leaning forward against the wrought iron railing.  
  


Pausing, Hoyoung tilted his head to the side, staring at Dongheon, but his gaze was clouded as though his mind was elsewhere. He finally spoke a few moments later, the corners of his lips kinking upwards into a small smirk. "I really liked that drum part you had in that song you guys sing about one night stands."  
  


The comment was very specific, so Dongheon understood what song he was talking about and he found himself stumbling over his next words as he tried not laugh. "I haven't the slightest clue what you mean."  
  


"It's actually my favorite," Hoyoung replied, grinning and not buying that Dongheon actually thought he would believe such a song didn't exist. He spent enough evenings after school sitting on a torn up couch at the side of Gyehyeon's garage as he watched the band practice to know all of their songs fairly well. "I like to think it's about me."  
  


Dongheon snorted and crinkled his nose, intrigued by his response. "Wouldn't you want one of our other songs to be about you? Like, I don't know, something sweeter or more romantic?"  
  


Hoyoung shrugged, drumming his nails against the railing. "I know those already exist."

It was a true statement. Minchan had played Hoyoung songs he'd written about him, songs about how much he loved him and how he missed him when they were apart and how amazing he thought he was. And, of course, Hoyoung appreciated them because being someone's muse was extremely flattering, but it was also nice to think that sometimes he got inspired at the thought of getting down and dirty with him as well.  
  


Dongheon knew that Hoyoung had been the inspiration for many of the band's romantic songs, because although the boys weren't necessarily in the habit of revealing who their songs were about, Minchan always blushed profusely when he showed them the ones he'd written about his boyfriend.  
  


Still, Dongheon couldn't help but feel guilty about the whole situation. And sometimes, as he sat on his bed and wrote songs in a worn out notebook, he wondered what it meant that all of his best lyrics came from thinking about Hoyoung.  
  


It hadn't been easy for Dongheon to accept the fact that he liked Hoyoung and he kind of felt like the whole situation snuck up on him. He'd always noticed him, ever since the day he first saw him, thinking he liked the way his smile seemed to light his whole face and he laughed with his entire body. But he had been a kid at the time, not ready to deal with those sorts of emotions, so he had shrugged it off to reconsider at a later date.  
  


Unfortunately, that later date had come just a little too late. Because before he'd developed the courage to fully confront his emotions, Hoyoung was dating Minchan.  
  


"That's cool," Dongheon nodded, his dimples popping as he grinned. "I'm glad you like our songs."  
  


"I do!" Hoyoung brightened, his lips stretching into a wide grin.  
  


Dongheon couldn't hold back a smile in response. Hoyoung was one of those people who was always upbeat and always happy. He could probably count on one hand the number of times he'd ever seen him look remotely upset.  
  


"Hey, are you taking advanced calculus this year?" Hoyoung asked, recalling a conversation he had with Minchan a few days earlier where he'd mentioned the fact that his drummer best friend was a little wary of his schedule for the upcoming school year.  
  


Dongheon grimaced at the mention of the class. He took advanced classes because he generally enjoyed the challenge, but math had always been difficult for him, though English and history, were another story. Still, he couldn't bring himself to take a lower level of class if the more advanced version was available.  
  


"Yeah," Dongheon sighed and nodded slowly, reaching one hand up to tangle his fingers into his black locks and rake them upwards, away from his forehead. "It's going to be a rough year."  
  


"I'm sure you'll be fine," Hoyoung laughed. He was incredibly intelligent and an extremely hard worker. His dedication to doing his best in everything he set his mind to really was admirable.  
  


"You're just saying that because you're good at it," Dongheon shot back, the corners of his lips rising into a teasing smile.  
  


Hoyoung opened his mouth to speak, but then shrugged and shot Dongheon a look that said 'fair enough' because he truly did enjoy math.  
  


Laughing, Dongheon plopped back down onto the concrete and picked up his drumsticks again, this time beginning to lightly tap the ends of them on his outstretched denim covered thigh.  
  


"Hey Dongheon?"  
  


Dongheon kept his eyes fixated on the ends of the sticks, almost afraid to look at Hoyoung because he knew the longer they held a conversation, the more at risk he was for revealing his true feelings. "Yeah?"  
  


"Can I ask you a question?"  
  


"Shoot."  
  


"Do you think it's weird that we're not better friends?"  
  


That caught his attention. Dongheon looked up, raising his eyebrows in surprise at the blunt delivery as he waited for him to continue.  
  


Hoyoung shrugged, his fingers pulling at the bracelet around his wrist. "Well, it's just that I've been dating Minchan for almost three years and you guys are best friends – like, you're practically brothers, but you and me, we're just…"

He trailed off, not knowing quite how to describe his relationship with Dongheon, but the latter knew exactly what he meant.  
  


"Hoyoung," Dongheon sighed, the movement of his drumsticks against his leg ceasing. "Just because you're dating my best friend doesn't mean that you and I have to be best friends as well."  
  


"I know," Hoyoung replied. "And I'm not bringing this up because I think we need to fulfill some sort of social obligation. I just think it would make Minchan happy."  
  


"Yeah," Dongheon said slowly, knowing he was right. "It probably would."  
  


The corners of Hoyoung’s lips lifted into a small smile and he pushed himself off the balcony railing and stood up straight. He tilted his head slightly to the side, his fingers still tugging at the bracelet around his wrist. "So, we'll work on that?"  
  


Dongheon blinked before laughing and shaking his head, not wanting to be rude, but not wanting to commit to anything either. "Whatever you say."  
  


Smiling widely, Hoyoung nodded once before turning back towards his window and climbing into his room. After shutting the window, he raised his hand in a wave and pulled the curtains closed.  
  


Dongheon stared at the spot where Hoyoung had been standing just a few seconds before, wondering what he'd gotten himself into.  
  


Hoyoung was probably right: it was weird that despite the fact that the two of them were neighbors and pretty much hung out with the same people throughout their high school careers they weren't exactly friendly. But what Hoyoung didn't realize was that the disconnect between them was entirely intentional.  
  


Dongheon had never wanted to be good friends with him. Not because he didn't like him, but because he did.  
  


He liked him a lot.  
  


Certainly much more than it was appropriate for a guy to like their best friend's boyfriend.  
  
He'd become somewhat of an expert at adoring Hoyoung from a distance, never gazing at him too long in the hallways, or using the fact that he was safely ensconced behind a drum kit to prevent Hoyoung from seeing him glancing at him every few minutes whenever he came to watch their band practices.   
  


He'd made sure that Minchan had absolutely no clue how he felt, because he loved that boy like a brother and no matter how he felt about Hoyoung, he would never do anything to jeopardize the relationship he had with his band mates.  
  


So, he kept quiet, looking away when Hoyoung kissed Minchan hello or goodbye and hiding the fact that his heart ached just a little at the sight of him smiling against the lead vocalist's lips, knowing that the happiness of two people he cared about so deeply was more important than his own feelings.

But if Hoyoung was going to insist on becoming better acquainted, he was going to have to reign in his emotions even more. It was one thing to seem indifferent when they weren't part of each other's lives, but doing so while he was spending time with him would be a whole other challenge.  
  


Sighing, Dongheon rose to his feet, his fingers curling around his drumsticks as he climbed back inside his room, not for the first time wondering what it would be like to be with Hoyoung, but knowing that just being his friend would have to be good enough.  
  


_____  
  


Dongheon knew he was running late, which was why he didn't bother to correct his parking when his car came to a stop beside the curb. Pulling his key from the ignition, he pushed open the driver's side door and locked the car before stuffing his keys into the pocket of his black leather jacket and pushing the door shut with a hip thrust. Chewing on his lower lip, he pulled his phone from the front pocket of his jeans as he walked around the car towards the front door of the house where the party was being held.  
  


The five text messages and two missed calls on his phone indicated that Minchan was less than pleased with his tardiness, so he sighed as he shoved his phone back into his jeans and went to join his classmates at the last house party before the end of term. It was supposed to be one last night to be young and wild and free before they put their noses to the grindstone for final exams, but Yeonho was out of town with his family and Gyehyeon wasn't feeling so hot. Still, Minchan was determined to have some fun before he locked himself away to study, so he'd insisted that two of the people he loved the most in the world come with him: Dongheon and Hoyoung.  
  


And therein lay the problem. Not that Dongheon had any objections to Hoyoung as a person. In fact, if Minchan could read his best friend's mind, it was more than likely that they would no longer be friends. So, he had been trying to keep his distance, because he had never been particularly good at lying.  
  


Granted, Hoyoung was doing everything in his power to make that as difficult as possible. Sticking to his mission of trying to get to know his boyfriend's best friend a little better, he would make a point to always call him out to the balcony to talk whenever the two of them were home at the same time. And although they didn't share any classes at school, a fact Dongheon was extremely grateful for, Hoyoung always made a point to greet him in the hallways or offer him rides home.  
  


It was a form of torture, Dongheon thought as he pushed open the unlocked front door of the house and was immediately hit with the pulsing bass of the songs being played from someone's iPod in the lounge room. Because it wasn't as though he could be rude.  
  
Hoyoung was making an effort and he respected that, but the trouble was that the more he talked to him and the more time he spent with him, the more he liked him. So, while Hoyoung thought they were just solidifying a friendship, Dongheon was falling into a hole he wasn't sure he could ever dig himself out of.   
  


Minchan was his best friend, his brother even, and Dongheon placed a high value on that kind of bond, so he would never do anything to break it. But every day, his feelings for Hoyoung grew stronger and he wasn't sure how much longer he could suppress them, which was why he was running late. He had spent the past hour staring at his reflection in his bathroom mirror, racking his brain for an excuse not to come that Minchan wouldn't see right through. He got enough of watching the two of them be adorable together at school, he didn't need to watch them dancing and flirting and kissing in his free time as well.  
  


Sighing, Dongheon shut the front door and smiled at the classmates he recognized as he walk his way through the house in search of the friend he was supposed to be meeting and the boy who unknowingly held his heart.  
  


He found Hoyoung on the second floor in the second bedroom on the right, across the hall from the bathroom. Normally, he wouldn't even check bedrooms at a house party for fear of witnessing something private, but this bedroom door had been slightly ajar, so he figured there couldn't be anything too intimate happening and knocked twice before he pushed it open.  
  


"Dongheon!" Hoyoung breathed out a sigh of relief, turning at the sound of the knock from where he was standing at the foot of the bed. "Oh, thank god."  
  


One of his eyebrows quirked upwards partly in confusion because those weren't the first words he'd expected to hear escape his mouth, and partly in concern at the panic in his voice. "Hey…what's going on?"  
  


Hoyoung stepped to the side to put Minchan in Dongheon's line of vision, gesturing at his boyfriend, who was currently sitting slumped over on the edge of the bed, his face looking extremely ashen. "He's wasted."  
  


"Shit," Dongheon muttered, stepping forward to see for himself, wondering how Minchan could have possibly done so much damage in such little time. "How much has he had?"  
  


"He had like three shots and a beer while I was here," Hoyoung replied, his eyebrows furrowed in concern. "I don't know how much he had before that. I had to help my parents with some stuff, so I got here late. He was fine for like half an hour and then he sort of slumped against me while we were dancing, so I had Yongseung help me bring him up here."  
  


Nodding, Dongheon reached out to lift Minchan's chin so he could look his friend in the eyes and better gauge his current state. Minchan attempted to lift the corners of his lips into a smile at the sight of the drummer, but only managed to let out a breathy, "Dongheon", before his eyelids drooped.  
  


"Has he puked?" Dongheon asked quietly, lifting his gaze to meet Hoyoung’s.  
  


Hoyoung nodded slowly, his arms crossing over his chest and rubbing his outer arms with his palms. "Once, but I have a feeling it won't be the last time tonight."  
  


"Yeah," Dongheon sighed, realizing his night was going to end up being not so fun for an entirely different reason than he originally anticipated. "We should probably get him out of this house. I don't think this is exactly the best environment for him to be in."  
  


Nodding in agreement, Hoyoung stepped forward to help Minchan to his feet, draping his arm over his own neck and watching as Dongheon did the same on the other side.  
  


Hoyoung’s name was whispered out of Minchan's dry lips as he blinked rapidly in confusion, unsure of what was happening.  
  


"Shhh, it's alright, babe," Hoyoung assured him, rubbing his palm against his stomach in a comforting gesture he knew he adored. "Dongheon and I are just gonna take you to get some fresh air."  
  


Dongheon stayed quiet as the three of them slowly but surely made their way down the stairs and out the front door. Noticing the park across the street, Dongheon nodded to where he wanted Hoyoung to go and he followed along, helping Minchan walk to the closest bench and setting him down, where he slumped over, much like the position he had been in on the bed a few minutes before.  
  


Inhaling deeply, Minchan lifted his chin to gaze at Hoyoung and Dongheon, his lips parting as though he wanted to say something before his eyes widened and he leaned over the side of the bench to empty the contents of his stomach.  
  


"And there it is," Dongheon sighed, reaching up to adjust the red bandana he had tied around his forehead. "A few more times of that and you'll sleep like a baby."  
  


Minchan shot his friend an unimpressed glare before turning his gaze to his boyfriend, his eyes flooding with apology as he parted his lips again to most likely say he was sorry that this was how his night hand turned out. Before he could get a word out, his upchuck reflex was triggered once more and he leaned over to vomit in the same place as before.  
  


This continued twice more before he stared at Hoyoung apologetically and whispered, "I think I'm all good now."  
  


Nodding, Hoyoung and Dongheon both reached out to help him to his feet, walking slowly towards Dongheon's car and unloading Minchan in the backseat. Hoyoung hopped into the front beside Dongheon, neither of them speaking as Hoyoung glanced into the mirror every now and then to ensure Minchan, who was drifting off to sleep, was still alright.  
  


Dongheon drove to Minchan's house because he knew that Minchan's parents were gone for the weekend, so there would be no one home to berate Minchan for being intoxicated. After the house key was dug out of Minchan's front pocket, the same process was used to lead him up the stairs to his bedroom and drop him atop his black comforter.  
  


His eyes seemed to flutter closed as soon as his head hit the pillow, so Hoyoung and Dongheon turned towards the door to leave him to sleep, but Hoyoung was stopped when he felt his fingers loosely grab his wrist, his name whispered through his dry lips.  
  


"Yeah?" Hoyoung breathed out, stepping towards the bed to see him more clearly in the dark room, reaching out to brush back a stray lock of his hair from his forehead. "Are you alright, honey?"  
  


Minchan nodded, his thumb swiping lightly over his wrist. "I'm sorry. Tonight was supposed to be fun and I ruined it for you."  
  


"Don't worry about it," Hoyoung laughed lightly, not really that bothered. He had been worried about him, but he wasn't angry. "Everyone has their bad nights. I'm just glad you're feeling better."  
  


"Cause I have you," Minchan smiled weakly, his eyes starting to droop again. "You always make me feel better. I love you so much."  
  


Dongheon watched the exchange from the foot of the bed, feeling a twisting in his heart when he heard Hoyoung whisper the words back, but hiding it well and smiling widely when Minchan called out his name next.  
  


"Dongheon? Thanks. I'm sorry you didn't get to enjoy the party."  
  


"No worries, bro," Dongheon shook his head, shooting his friend an assuring smile. "There will be other parties. You should get some sleep."  
  


Minchan nodded and lay his cheek against the pillow and Dongheon watched as Hoyoung leaned over to press a kiss to his forehead and whisper goodnight as he pulled away, wondering, not for the first time, what it would feel like to have his lips pressed to his own skin.  
  


He shook the thought away once Hoyoung had dropped Minchan's hand and relocated his trash bin to beside his bed in case he had anymore urges to throw up in the middle of the night and the two of them crept into the hallway, leaving the door slightly ajar so they could hear if anything happened.  
  


"Wow," Hoyoung exhaled shakily once he was in the hallway. "What a night, huh? Sorry you were at the party for all of five minutes before we had to leave."  
  


Dongheon shrugged, reaching up to pull his bandana off his head and running his fingers through his messy hair. "It's alright. Honestly, I didn't really want to go anyway. I just came because Minchan seemed so excited about it."  
  


"Yeah," Hoyoung crinkled his nose and smiled. "He's pretty cute, isn't he?"  
  


"Adorable," Dongheon nodded, though the adjective was actually directed more at Hoyoung and the way his eyes crinkled when he smiled.  
  


"Come on," Hoyoung laughed, nodding towards stairs. "Let's get you a drink. You deserve it."  
  


Hoyoung navigated Minchan's house as though it was his own, probably because the past nearly three years of dating him and made it feel like such. Dongheon followed him down the stairs and into the kitchen, stuffing his bandana in his jacket pocket and hopping up on the kitchen counter as Hoyoung began to search through the cupboards for a glass.  
  


"I'm actually good with just water," Dongheon said, swinging his legs lightly. "I still have to drive home. Are you spending the night here?"  
  


Dongheon was well aware that Hoyoung and Minchan had a sexual relationship because although he never really went into details, Minchan didn't keep anything from his band mates. So, Hoyoung had probably spent lots of nights at Minchan's house and staying tonight wasn't going to raise any red flags with his parents.  
  


"Yeah," Hoyoung replied, selecting a glass from the cupboard and filling it with water from the sink before handing it to Dongheon. "I feel like Minchan's not going to remember a whole lot of what happened tonight and someone should probably be here to fill in the gaps when he wakes up completely confused."  
  


Dongheon laughed softly as his lips curled over the edge of the glass and he swallowed a swig of cool water before speaking again. "He's lucky to have you."  
  


He meant that in every way possible. There were about a million times a day when he would slap himself for not telling Hoyoung how he felt earlier. Who knew how differently things could have turned out if he'd just been brave enough to bear his soul when he'd first realized his feelings all those years ago.  
  


Hoyoung crossed his arms over his chest and raised an eyebrow, leaning back against the counter opposite him. "Do you really think that? Or are you just saying it because you think you have to?"  
  


Dongheon’s eyebrows shot up in surprise as he set the now half empty glass to his side. "What do you mean?"  
  


Rubbing his lips together, Hoyoung breathed out through his nose as he contemplated the best way to phrase his next question. "I just get the sense that you don't like me very much and I don't know why."  
  


Although Hoyoung did his best to be nice to everyone, whether or not someone liked him was their own problem and he figured there was no use in getting hung up on everyone else's opinions of him. That being said, it irked him that his boyfriend's best friend didn't seem to be a big fan. Dongheon was important to Minchan and Minchan was important to him and he just thought the world might be a happier place if him and Dongheon could get along. Hoyoung would consider himself to be good friends with Yeonho and Gyehyeon, the other two members of the band Minchan was in, so he didn't understand why his relationship with Dongheon was so strained.  
  


Dongheon blinked in confusion. Apparently in his mission to keep Hoyoung from discovering his romantic feelings for him, he'd somehow convinced him that he despised him entirely.  
  


"I like you," he assured him. "We're friends."  
  


That was a bit of an overstatement, considering Dongheon did his best to avoid having extended conversations with Hoyoung for fear that he would let something slip. He just wasn't sure he could properly be friends with him, not when every time he saw him, all he wanted to do was make out with him for a few hours, then make him laugh for a few hours, and then repeat that process indefinitely.  
  


"Well, that's not true," Hoyoung laughed quietly, his eyes sparkling, even in the dim lighting of the kitchen. There was a pause and Dongheon racked his brain for something to say, but Hoyoung spoke again before he could. "Look, Dongheon, if you don't want to be friends, that's fine. I only suggested it because I figured we both love Minchan and he'd probably like it if we were good friends as well."  
  


It was a noble request, to be sure. The only trouble was that Dongheon had made a list of all the things he liked about him which was currently three pages long and he was afraid if he became good friends with him, that list would only get longer. And once it did, he would still have to deal with the fact that Hoyoung was in love with someone else. Someone who was extremely important to him as well.  
  


Dongheon was in too deep as it was and if he fell for him any harder, there would be no turning back. Watching him and Minchan together was hard enough and he didn't want it to be any more complicated. Keeping him at a distance was what was best for everyone involved. He just needed to figure out how to say that nicely.  
  


"It's not that I don't want to be friends with you…," Dongheon said slowly, wondering how to explain his situation without hurting his feelings. "I can't."  
  


"Why not?" Hoyoung asked, furrowing his brow in confusion.  
  


"I just can't," Dongheon repeated, tangling his fingers in his hair and tugging on it in frustration. "Can we just leave it at that?"  
  


"No," Hoyoung scoffed, his glare becoming more pointed. "For fuck's sake, Dongheon, what is going on? Why can't you be friends with me? Just tell me the truth. I can take it."  
  


Dongheon wasn't sure Hoyoung could. But he'd spent years bottling up his emotions, years perfecting the act of looking disinterested while he was internally wishing he was his best friend. So, as Hoyoung’s gaze burned into his soul, his eyes lit beautifully with fire, his defenses crumbled, and the words he'd been holding back since he first started dating his best friend came tumbling out before he could stop them.  
  


"Because I think I'm in love with you."  
  


There was a vast amount of pin drop silence as Hoyoung’s eyes widened and his lips parted in shock and Dongheon realized that he'd just ruined his friendship with Minchan.  
  


"Shit," Dongheon muttered, breaking his gaze away from Hoyoung and tugging at his hair once more. He didn't know what else to say because it wasn't as though he could take it back, but now that it was out in the open, everything was going to get ten times more complicated.  
  


"D-Dongheon...," Hoyoung breathed out, his eyes wide as he tried to find words.   
  
"You…we…I…"   
  


"I know," Dongheon sighed, pulling his bandana from his pocket and smoothing it out between his fingers. Despite the fact that Hoyoung hadn't actually formed a complete sentence, he understood where his mind was going. "I know. Shit. I shouldn't have said that. I'm sorry."  
  


Hoyoung shook his head, wanting to tell him that he didn't have to be sorry and that they could figure this out, but nothing escaped his lips because he was still speechless, still trying to comprehend the fact that this was the reason his relationship with Dongheon had been strained.  
  


"I should go," Dongheon whispered when Hoyoung didn't say anything else, his lips still parted in shock. "Tell Minchan to text me when he wakes up so I know he's alright."  
  


Nodding once because Hoyoung still couldn't get a word out, he watched Dongheon tie his bandana around his forehead again and turn towards the door, pulling his car keys out of the pocket of his leather jacket. Every nerve end in his body was telling him not to just let him walk away, but the part of his brain which let him speak wasn't functioning correctly, so he stayed silent as he watched him disappear from the kitchen, wondering how anything was ever going to be the same.  
  


Dongheon held his breath until he was sitting inside his car, at which point he let out a loud string of angry curse words, mentally slapping himself for being so weak. He had gone this many years without telling Hoyoung how he felt and in the matter of a few minutes, he'd gone and shot to hell one of the best friendships in his life.  
  


He was fairly certain Hoyoung wouldn't say anything to Minchan, because there wouldn't be a point. There was no use in angering Minchan over something that was never going to happen. So, Dongheon stuck his key in the ignition and turned on his engine and decided that the next time he saw the two of them, he was going to act as if everything was exactly how it had always been. Hoyoung was with Minchan and as he had done for the past few three years, he would be polite and smile and play along, because getting the boy had never been in his cards.  
  
_____  
  


Hoyoung didn't tell Minchan. Normally, the two of them had a strict full honesty policy, but he didn't really consider this to be a normal situation. There was no world in which his boyfriend's best friend saying he was in love with him could ever be considered normal.  
  


After Dongheon left, he found himself glad that Minchan was passed out in his room, because he was a wreck. He stood in the kitchen for he wasn't sure how long, staring at the spot where Dongheon had been sitting on the counter, wondering if he'd been so oblivious as to miss all the signs.  
  


Surely, Hoyoung would have noticed if Dongheon liked him at all. He was always perfectly civil when they talked, but the two of them had never spent more than half an hour alone together, usually because Dongheon would end up excusing himself from the situation. Up until he had said otherwise, Hoyoung assumed this was because he wasn't particularly fond of him, but he put up with him because Minchan was his best friend. Apparently, the real reason he'd been so distant was because he was too afraid that if he spent too much time with him, he'd end up spilling his guts on how he really felt.  
  


And Hoyoung confronting him about his behavior around him was enough for him to finally crack.  
  


He didn't sleep at all the night of Dongheon's revelation. He had lain on the couch in Minchan's living room, staring at the ceiling and wondering what the hell was going on. It was during this bout of insomnia that he'd decided that telling Minchan would serve absolutely no purpose.  
  


It wasn't as though anything physical had happened between him and Dongheon. Still, he felt guilty beyond belief, partly because he hated keeping things from Minchan and partly because he was wondering if there was a possibility he could have led Dongheon on.  
  


Around seven in the morning he heard the shower turn on, indicating Minchan had woken up. Considering he had spent the night on the couch downstairs, he assumed Minchan had no idea he was still there, so he went to the guest room where he knew the extra toothbrushes were kept and brushed his teeth and splashed water on his face, deciding to shower when he got home later that morning and went to go wait in Minchan's room and see how he was feeling.  
  


Hoyoung sat perched on the edge of his bed, staring blankly at a Good Charlotte poster he had pinned up on his wall until he heard his shower turn off and Minchan emerged from the bathroom a few minutes later wearing only a pair of navy blue boxer briefs.  
  


"Hey!" Minchan said, a little startled at his presence, blinking at him a couple times before turning towards the dresser to find some clothes. "I didn't know you were here."  
  


"Yeah," Hoyoung smiled softly, watching as he selected a plain black t-shirt from the drawer before moving to his closet to pick up yesterday's skinny jeans. "I stayed the night. Wanted to make sure you were okay."  
  


Minchan’s eyebrows rose quickly before his lips stretched into a wide grin. Stepping towards him, he clutched his clothes in one hand as he leaned down to press a quick kiss to his lips. "Babe, that's so sweet. Thank you."  
  


"Of course," Hoyoung shrugged, holding in a laugh as he tossed his t-shirt onto the bed and proceeded to get into his jeans with the help of a lot of jumping. "What are boyfriends for right?"  
  


He used the word boyfriend mostly to reiterate to himself the fact that he was in a relationship with Minchan, which meant that he shouldn't be having any feelings at all about last night's interaction with Dongheon.  
  


Minchan flashed him another quick smile as he buttoned his jeans and reached for his shirt, slipping it over his head. "What happened anyway? I vaguely remember the party. Did Dongheon end up coming?"  
  


Hoyoung tensed at the sound of Dongheon's name, which wasn't really a rational response seeing as Minchan was unconscious during the revelations of the previous night, so it wasn't as though he was suspicious.  
  


"Uh, yeah," he replied, doing his best to hide his anxiety. "And I'm glad cause I wouldn't have been able to get you home otherwise. How are you not hungover?"  
  


It was pretty impressive, actually, because Minchan was functioning as though he hadn't consumed all of the alcohol in the entirety of the state the night before.  
  
Minchan shrugged as he took a seat beside Hoyoung, crossing his bare feet at the ankles. "I didn't feel great when I woke up, but the shower helped. And of course, you being here definitely makes me feel ten times better."   
  


Hoyoung rolled his eyes, but couldn't help and mimic his wide smile, turning his head to accept another soft kiss on the lips. "Any time. I should probably get home, though."  
  


Nodding, Minchan leaned in for another kiss, rubbing his nose affectionately against his when he pulled away. "Do you wanna do something tonight?"  
  


"Like what?" Hoyoung asked, pushing himself from the bed.  
  


Minchan pursed his lips thoughtfully. "We could do dinner and a movie? It's been a while since we've had a date night. Plus, I definitely owe you a makeup date for last night."  
  


"Minchan, I told you, it's totally fine," Hoyoung laughed, his fingers curling around the hem of his shirt. "You don't have to make anything up to me. A date night does sound nice, though."  
  


"Great," Minchan grinned, lifting one bare foot the edge of the bed and lacing his fingers together atop the knee exposed through the hole in his jeans. "We have band practice at Gyehyeon’s this afternoon at four. Wanna swing by there and then we can head out after?"  
  


Hoyoung froze at the suggestion. Dongheon would be at band practice, seeing as he was an integral part of the band. He was pretty sure he wouldn't want to talk to him, but maybe if he could get him alone for a few minutes, the two of them could work things out. After all, they wouldn't be able to avoid each other forever.  
  


Nodding, Hoyoung stretched his lips into a wide grin. "Sounds good." Taking two steps forward, he leaned in to kiss Minchan quickly and then wiggled his fingers in a wave as he left the room. "See you later."  
  


He let out a sigh of relief as he walked out the front door after retrieving his shoes from beside the couch. He walked to the house party the night before and it was nice out this morning, so he didn't mind walking back to his own house as well. Besides, it would give him plenty of time to figure out what the hell he was going to say to Dongheon.  
  


_____  
  
  
  


Hoyoung arrived at band practice at exactly 4:30 and made his way to the secondary suite in Gyehyeon's home as though it was his own, a journey he'd made several times over the course of his relationship with Minchan. He loved watching the boys practice because he'd never seen anyone look quite as content or quite as at home as the four of them did while they played. So, for the past three years, he'd sat on the worn out couch to the side and felt extreme pride as he listened to them work out songs.  
  


But this rehearsal was bound to feel different. Hoyoung wasn't sure if Dongheon knew he was coming because it was possible that Minchan had mentioned it and it was also possible that he didn't think any of his friends would object, so there was no point in bringing it up. Generally speaking, they didn't care if he watched because they considered him part of the family. But considering Dongheon was undoubtedly going to be unable to look him in the eyes, he wasn't sure as to how warm his reception would be.  
  


Taking a deep breath, Hoyoung entered the room where they normally practiced, his eyes locking with Yeonho's first, returning the smile he shot him and raising a hand in a wave.  
  


Yeonho's shift in gaze caught Minchan's attention and then Gyehyeon's and finally Dongheon's and although his line of vision should have settled on his boyfriend, he instead found himself glancing at the drummer, who was clutching his drumsticks a little too tightly as he sat on his stool.  
  


"Hey, babe," Minchan greeted, taking a step forward to press a kiss to his cheek. "We'll be done in like half an hour."  
  


"Alright," Hoyoung nodded, shifting his gaze to him to flash him a smile before returning it to where Dongheon had been sitting only to see that the drummer had slipped out of the room. "I'm gonna go get some water. Are there bottles in the fridge?"  
  


"Should be!" Gyehyeon called out.  
  


Nodding, he turned towards the kitchen, figuring that's where Dongheon had gone to hide out. His assumption was proved correct when he entered the kitchen to find him peering into the open fridge.  
  


"Will you get me some water?" Hoyoung asked, leaning against the counter and watching as Dongheon jumped at the sound of his voice.  
  


Pressing his lips together, Dongheon reached into the fridge and pulled out a bottle, sliding it across the counter towards him before shutting the door. "I didn't know you were coming."  
  


"Me neither," Hoyoung replied, unscrewing the cap of the bottle. "It was kind of a last minute thing. Minchan and I are going to a movie and then dinner after this."  
  


There was silence as Dongheon nodded, reaching up to tug down the sides of his black beanie and wondering if Hoyoung was having as difficult a time pretending things were completely normal as he was.  
  


"Are we gonna talk about it?"  
  


Hoyoung’s question caught him by surprise and he lifted his gaze to meet his, at first thinking he was joking but then ceasing to breathe when his eyes were flooded with sincerity. "I figured we'd just forget it ever happened."  
  


Dongheon knew that was unrealistic expectation on both their parts but it was also the one which would cause the least amount of damage. He'd gone this long pretending he had no feelings towards him whatsoever, he could continue to do so for the sake of his best friend.  
  


"Seriously?" Hoyoung lowered his voice so he didn't end up yelling. "I can't just forget that you told me you're in love with me, Dongheon."  
  


There they were; the words he'd never meant to speak out loud. The ones he'd kept bottled up inside him for years, hoping that one day they would no longer be true. But he'd cracked and he'd said them to his face and now he wasn't going to let him run from it.  
  


"What do you want me to say?" Dongheon sighed in frustration, drumming his fingers against the granite countertop. "It's not like I can exactly take it back, can I?"  
  


Hoyoung supposed that was true. Truthfully, his walk home had been completely unproductive and he hadn't come up with a solid way to handle the situation.

He knew what his reaction should have been; he should have been shocked and then immediately stated that he was in love with Minchan and he didn't feel anything for Dongheon past platonic fondness and it was never going to happen. Once he'd completely negated his feelings for him, he'd be free to move on.  
  


The trouble was that he was conflicted.  
  


Hoyoung did love Minchan. He was compassionate and caring and he loved that he always knew where he stood with him because he hated playing games. But he'd be lying to himself if he believed that he never had feelings for Dongheon.  
  


Because the truth was, before he and Minchan were even a possibility, he had many feelings for Dongheon. He'd find himself glancing out his window every so often to check he was home and he'd smile as he watched him air drum along with the whatever song he was listening to while he did his homework. Hoyoung had been captivated by the way his eyes lit up when he spoke up in the classes they shared and how he seemed so genuinely enthusiastic about everything.  
  


But Dongheon had never really shown any interest, never given him a second glance besides to greet him if they ever crossed paths while entering or leaving their respective houses. So, Hoyoung chalked it up to a crush that wasn't going to go anywhere and opened himself up to other possibilities and that's when he had started connecting with Minchan. It was almost a cruel twist of fate that he happened to be such good friends with Dongheon, but he'd pushed aside any feelings that he ever had for the drummer and directed all of his love towards Minchan. However, now that he knew Dongheon felt something for him, the part of him that had never really gotten over him was bubbling back to life.  
  


"I guess not," Hoyoung whispered, his fingers wrapping around the middle of the water bottle that he’d yet taken a sip from. "But I can't just forget, Dongheon."  
  


"Why not?" Dongheon asked, tilting his head to the side. He knew it was quite a big revelation, but considering he was willing to bury it until it was forgotten, if he didn't feel the same way, then he should have had no problem doing the same.  
  


"Because…,"  
  


The word came out as a whisper, his eyes wide and his hands shaking, but he couldn't finish the thought because he felt so immensely guilty. Minchan didn't deserve this; he didn't deserve a boyfriend with conflicting feelings. He deserved someone who would love him unconditionally, not someone who wouldn't be able to make up his mind when an old crush came back into his life.  
  


Dongheon held his breath as he waited for Hoyoung to finish his sentence, wondering if it was possible that he might say the words he'd been dreaming he would say for years; that he felt the same way.  
  


"Everything alright in here?"  
  


Minchan's voice snapped them both from their staring contest and Hoyoung blinked rapidly and stretched his lips into his widest, most convincing smile as he breathed out, "Yeah. I was just thanking Dongheon for helping me out last night."  
  


"Oh yeah," Minchan raised his eyebrows, turning his gaze to his friend. "Thanks, man. It sounds like I was kind of a mess."  
  


Dongheon glanced at Hoyoung before grinning and shrugging. "When aren't you a mess?"  
  


Minchan laughed, brushing off his hair across his forehead. "Fair enough. Wanna get back to practice?"  
  


"Yeah," Dongheon nodded, using all his willpower not to look at Hoyoung again as he stepped past the counter and exited the kitchen.

Hoyoung found himself able to breathe again, though he was shaky as Minchan reached out a hand to squeeze his upper arm affectionately.  
  


"It'll only be a little longer, babe, I promise," Minchan assured him. "But the movie and dinner is completely your choice."  
  


"Alright," Hoyoung replied weakly, accepting a quick peck on his lips and watching him go back to the practice room. He let out a shaky sigh as he finally brought the water bottle to his lips, thinking he was the world's most awful person.  
  


_____  
  


"Are you gonna tell me what's wrong?"  
  


Minchan's voice snapped Hoyoung out of his internal war and he looked up at him over the bowl of tortilla chips the waiter had just placed in the center of the table. Lifting his eyebrows, he smiled softly. "What do you mean?"  
  


"Oh, come on, Hoyoung," Minchan sighed, pushing away his water glass. "Something's on your mind. You always play with your bracelet when there's something you want to tell me but you don't want to tell me."  
  


In all honesty, Hoyoung should have known that he wouldn't be able to hide anything from Minchan. He'd always been able to read him like a book and the fact that he was so in tune with his emotions was one of the many things he loved about him.  
  


Hoyoung had been kind of glad that the first part of their date night had consisted of a movie because in the dark theater, Minchan couldn't tell that he had been mentally replaying his conversation with Dongheon, thinking about how he had been a few seconds away from telling the drummer that he felt it too. But now, as he sat on the patio of Minchan's favorite Mexican restaurant waiting for his crispy tacos, there was nowhere to hide.  
  


"I'm just tired, is all," Hoyoung assured him, swirling his straw in his iced tea. "And stressed out thinking about exams."  
  


Minchan sucked his lower sip between his teeth, chewing on it as he tilted his head to the side and studied Hoyoung’s expression, still able to tell that he wasn't telling him the whole truth. "Did something happen with Dongheon?"  
  


Hoyoung’s eyes widened at the drummer's name, his heart beat increasing in fear as he wondered if it was possible that Minchan had figured it out. "No…why would you think that?"  
  


"Things just seemed a bit tense between the two of you when I walked into the kitchen earlier," Minchan replied, his gaze direct.  
  


"We were just talking," Hoyoung shrugged, hating that he'd lied to Minchan more times in the past two days than he had in his entire relationship up until this point.  
  


He could tell Minchan didn't believe him, but he knew he wouldn't get angry. Any fights the two of them had were usually just arguments that resulted in one of them laughing when they realized they were being an idiot. Minchan didn't get mad, he was much more the quietly disappointed type and right now, his eyes were absolutely flooded with disappointment.  
  


"Look," Minchan sighed, reaching up to tugged his fingers through his perpetually messy hair. "I don't know what's going on or when we got to the point where we started hiding things from each other. And maybe you think keeping whatever it is a secret is better because I won't get upset, but I'd honestly rather you just tell me."  
  


Hoyoung didn't respond, wishing desperately that he could fix the situation, but having absolutely no idea what to do.  
  


Swiping his tongue across his lower lip, Minchan shook his head slowly as he pushed himself into a standing position. "I'll give you some space to figure out. When you want to tell me the truth, you know where to find me."  
  


Before Hoyoung could stop him from leaving, Minchan pulled out his wallet and left a few bills of cash on the table to pay for his entrée before walking past him and disappearing into the restaurant, leaving him wondering how so much could change in so little time.  
  


It took Hoyoung all of ten minutes to realize that Minchan was his ride home. He’d walked to Gyehyeon's house because it had been close enough, but the two of them had taken his car to the movies and dinner because he wanted to take him somewhere nice. He'd driven him out to the boardwalk so they could have a view of the sunset while they ate and as he rose from his chair and shot an apologetic smile at the waiter holding two plates of tacos, he hurried outside, grabbing his phone from his jeans’ pocket to see if he could call a friend for a ride back and then leave Minchan about a hundred voicemails pleading with him to talk.  
  


The effort was proved unnecessary, however, because as Hoyoung stepped out the front door of the restaurant onto the boardwalk, he heard someone call his name and turned his head in surprise at the sight of Minchan lifting himself from a nearby bench.  
  


"I thought you left?" Hoyoung stammered out, slipping his phone back into his jeans’ pocket.  
  


"I was going to," Minchan admitted, taking a step towards him, "And then I realized that I drove you here and I didn't want to leave you stranded."  
  


Amazing. Even when he was utterly annoyed with him, he was still the sweetest person ever.  
  


"Thanks," Hoyoung whispered, wanting to reach out and grab his hand but getting the sense that he didn't want to be touched. "Can we talk?"  
  


Minchan shoved his fingers into the pockets of his jeans and nodded. "You're ready? To tell me what's going on?"  
  


If Goyoung was being honest with himself, he still didn't know what to say, but Minchan deserved some sort of explanation. He deserved the truth, Hoyoung just hated the thought that he could potentially be the cause of the dissolution of his friendship with Dongheon.  
  


But he hated lying to Minchan and the longer he dragged this out, the more everyone involved was going to end up hurting. So, he took a deep breath in and spoke slowly.

"The other night…after Dongheon and I had gotten you to sleep…he told me…he told me that he thinks he's in love with me."  
  
Minchan stared at him blankly for what felt like two hours but was actually probably more like twenty seconds before letting out a shaky breath. "I can't believe he finally said it."   
  


That was not at all the reaction Hoyoung was expecting. Anger, maybe, or sorrow or even a feeling of betrayal, but in a million years, he never would have guessed that Minchan would be unsurprised.  
  


"You knew?" Hoyoung furrowed his brow in confusion, his fingers curling around his wrist.  
  


"Of course I knew," Minchan rocked back and forth in his all black Converse. "He's my best friend. I can tell when he has feelings for someone."  
  


Hoyoung’s lips parted, but he honestly had no idea what to say because although he hadn't been prepared for the situation in general, he was caught completely off guard.  
  


"That's so much worse isn't it?" Minchan laughed bitterly, shaking his head. "He's my best friend. We're like brothers. And I knew. I knew how he felt about you before I ever asked you out and I did it anyway."  
  


"I'm confused," Hoyoung blinked rapidly. "You've known that Dongheon liked me for the past three years? And you were okay with that?"  
  


"Yeah," Minchan admitted, his expression unreadable. "I mean, he's liked you for more than three years, but I guess I figured that he had his chance to make a move and he didn't. The fact that I knew was actually one of the reasons it took me so long to ask you on a date in the first place. And as far as being okay with it…well, you're amazing, so I get it, but I'll admit that the fact that you two weren't exactly close was kind of nice. I think it would have bothered me more if you were hanging out all time, but you weren't, so I guess I just pushed aside the fact that my best friend had feelings for my boyfriend."  
  


The conversation was taking a turn Hoyoung had never expected. Chewing on his bottom lip, he took another step forward until the two of them were toe to toe. "Are we gonna be okay?"  
  


"I think that's up to you," Minchan nodded once. "You're the one who has to decide how you feel about me."  
  


"I love you," Hoyoung replied automatically.  
  


Minchan lifted the corners of his lips into a small smile. "I know you do. But I don't think you're in love with me. Not anymore."  
  


Hoyoung’s eyes widened in horror that he'd even put him in this situation. "That's not true."  
  


"Sure it is," Minchan laughed quietly, raising one shoulder in a shrug. "You can deny it as much as you want, but if you really think about it, you'll realize I'm right. At some point in the past two years, you started wishing I was him."  
  


Every nerve end in Hoyoung’s body was screaming to assure Minchan that he was wrong, but the trouble was that he was actually right. He did love Minchan; he adored him completely, but he'd be lying to himself if he said that his thoughts didn't often wander to Dongheon.

His silence was enough for him to continue.  
  


"It's okay, you know," Minchan went on, though his voice was a little shaky. "Maybe it's time I let you go. This was going to happen eventually. You and I both knew it. Maybe it's time we stop pretending that this hasn't been over for a few months."  
  


"Minchan…," Hoyoung whispered, blinking back tears. "I'm so sorry. I don't want things between you and Dongheon to be…"  
  


"It's fine," Minchan cut in, smiling reassuringly, though Hoyoung wasn't sure he quite believed it. "Dongheon's like a brother to me and you know I love you and yeah, it might be weird for a little while, but if you guys have feelings for each other, who am I to stand in the way of that?"  
  


Choking back tears, Hoyoung swung his arms around his middle and buried his face in the soft cotton of his t-shirt. "I never deserved you, you know."  
  


"Well, that's not true," Minchan replied softly, wrapping his arms around his shoulders and pressing a kiss to the top of his head. "Come on, I'll take you home. I think there's a certain next door neighbor you need to talk to."  
  


_____  
  


Hoyoung stood on his doorstep for about five minutes before he got up the courage to knock. He knew Dongheon was home because he could hear the heavy metal blasting from his open bedroom window.  
  


There was no plan. In retrospect, thinking of what he was going to say probably would have been a good idea, but the past few hours had been such a roller coaster of emotions, that he wasn't entirely sure what was going on.  
  


Minchan seemed to be okay. A little heartbroken, which was to be expected considering the circumstances, but he was surprised to see that he genuinely was not angry about the situation. In fact, Minchan was the one who was encouraging him to confess his feelings to Dongheon. So, he dropped him off in front of the drummer's house, kissed him on the cheek to wish him good luck, and drove away, leaving him nervous and anxious and completely in shock at Dongheon's front door.  
  


It swung open after a few minutes to reveal a barefooted Dongheon, who raised his eyebrows in surprise at the sight of him. "Hey, what are you doing here? Aren't you and Minchan supposed to be on a date?"  
  


Before Hoyoung could talk himself out of it he stepped forward and pressed his cheeks between his palms and kissed him firmly on the lips. It was something that he'd fantasized about doing for ages and as Dongheon’s arms instinctively wrapped around him and pulled him close, his lips returning the pressure, Hoyoung realized that the real thing was even better than his wildest dreams.  
  


Hoyoung wasn't sure how long they kissed for because it kind of felt like time was standing still, but he couldn't help the smile that stretched his lips when the two of them finally pulled apart.  
  


Dongheon's eyes went from hooded to wide with horror. "M-Minchan."  
  


"It's okay," Hoyoung assured him, feeling warm and deliciously dizzy, a sensation he hadn't experienced in a long time with Minchan. "We talked. It's over."  
  


"Just like that?" Dongheon raised his eyebrows, his arms loosening around Hoyoung, his pretty lips swollen as he blinked rapidly, trying to process what was happening. "You guys were together for three years…"  
  


"I know," Hoyoung sighed, feeling a bit guilty for kissing someone else so quickly. But Minchan had been the one who had driven him here. "But I think we both know that the past year at least hadn't been great. I think we got comfortable and we started settling and just going through the motions."  
  


"But I should go talk to him," Dongheon said, though he didn't really want to let Hoyoung go. This was the first time he'd ever held him in his arms and it was something he'd dreamed about for years and he wanted to relish in it as long as possible. "He's my best friend and I don't want that to change."  
  


"It won't," Hoyoung assured him, repeating what Minchan had said to see less than an hour before. "It might be weird for a little while, but things will go back to normal. Minchan just wants us to be happy."  
  


Dongheon contemplated the words, his thumbs unconsciously swiping up and down Hoyoung’s lower back. "Us…"  
  


He blinked a couple times, his expression shifting from shock to awe as though he was having an epiphany. "You just kissed me."  
  


"Yeah," Hoyoung laughed softly, still not entirely believing it either and thinking he needed a repeat just to make sure it was real. "I did."  
  


Dongheon stared at him hard, inhaling and exhaling deeply a few times before speaking. "I didn't know you felt that way about me."  
  


Hoyoung’s smile widened. "I guess I'm just good at hiding my feelings."  
  


A short, sweet laugh escaped Dongheon’s lips, making it feel like electricity was coursing through Hoyoung’s veins. "I guess we have that in common."  
  


"I guess we do," Hoyoung replied, leaning in to press his lips to Dongheon once more because he already missed the feeling.  
  


Dongheon hugged him tight and kissed him hard and they were both grinning madly when they separated.  
  


"So what now?" Dongheon asked, lifting one hand to brush back Hoyoung’s hair from his forehead and softly caress his cheek. "What are we supposed to do now? Should I take you on a date?"  
  


"Do you want to take me on a date?" Hoyoung asked, knowing exactly what he hoped his response would be.  
  


Dongheon’s lips slowly stretched into a wide smile as he leaned in to kiss him again, mumbling against his lips, "You have no idea how long I've wanted to take you on a date."  
  


"Well, what are you waiting for?" Hoyoung asked between kisses. "Take me."  
  


"Have some patience," Dongheon laughed against his mouth, the sweet vibrations tingling through his body. "We'll get there eventually. I kind of love where we are right now."  
  


Hoyoung’s grin widened as he kissed him back, his fingers tangling into the hair at the nape of his neck. "Me too."


End file.
